By trying to avoid becoming his father, Xander inadvertently inflicts a different kind of trauma on Anya, abandoning her at the altar. Anya’s Reversion
According to a character profile on Facebook, Xander’s father (played by Casey Sander) is depicted as a bitter, alcoholic man whose presence at the wedding highlights the toxic environment Xander grew up in. The appearance of Stewart Burns—a man claiming to be Xander from the future—exploits this trauma by showing Xander a fabricated life of domestic misery and resentment. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy [S6E16] Hell's Bells
The tragedy of the episode lies in Xander’s choice. Even after the "future" visions are revealed to be a demonic ruse for revenge, Xander still cannot go through with the wedding. This illustrates a core theme of Season 6: the characters are often their own worst enemies. By trying to avoid becoming his father, Xander
This essay explores the themes of trauma, self-fulfilling prophecies, and the cycle of abuse in the 16th episode of the sixth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer . The Weight of Legacy and Fear The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy The tragedy of the episode
For Anya, the episode is a pivot point that reverts her character growth. Having spent seasons trying to understand humanity and find a place in the world, the rejection sends her back into the arms of D’Hoffryn to reclaim her mantle as a vengeance demon. Her heartbreak is not just about a lost marriage, but the loss of the human identity she worked so hard to build. Conclusion
He isn't afraid of Anya; he is afraid of the potential for cruelty within himself.